Time flying by...

You know I cannot count the times I have wished life away.  Not in the sense that one would generally assume. I am not wishing for death, no on the other hand, I am wishing for more action to come into my life.  More than likely I am ready for something to happen.

I cannot remember how long I wished the days, months, and years away to be teaching. I have counted down days for different activities, and normally those activities fly by before I realize they are here.

This has been on my mind lately because once again I am counting down.  Rob will be here in November.  On a different note, I will update everyone...

My classroom was broken into a week or two ago.  It scared me, and I felt violated.  However, according to EVERY teacher at my school the police officer who comforted me was hot.  They have all decided they will cry to get him to hug them.  I didn't even realize he was hugging me.. lol

My other current pondering... why do black students name call by calling each other black??? I wanna saw oooooooooooooo... He told you, he black... In case you didn't know that since you are 8-10 years of age.  However, it gets more confusing when they call each other white.  They will say something derogatory about whites.  I have to remind them that I am white.  Their reply, "Oh yeah, sorry Ms. Brewer, we forgot!"  I guess they don't see me everyday.

Sleepiness is taking over.. I am calling it a night.

Clarity

This past week has been a rough one.  I caught one my first school sickness.  I know that this will be one of many school sicknesses to come.  I know that this first year, I will catch EVERYTHING! I am working to change that though.

Anyway, Wednesday was the day I officially just wanted to crawl back in my bed.  I was extremely miserable with this head cold.  However, this was the first day I started Weight Watchers.  Thats right, I am trying to lose some weight.  I used to go walking in Bonita, but I am running out of time in my schedule. SOOOO, Weight Watchers here I come!

Its not too bad, I am learning the rules, and I think I am doing a good job.  The only thing is now I am constantly thinking of food.  Not necessarily because I am hungry, but just analyzing my meals.  I am constantly wondering if  I should do this or this.  Oh wait I may want to eat this.  I don't want to eat this.  All of this is going through my head.  I can now imagine how eating disorders begin.  This is frustrating, and I want to NOT think so much about this.  Hopefully, my analytical skills will wear off soon!

Back to the sickness, I have the funk, the crud, whatever you want to call it.  I went to the doctor Wednesday.  I got two shots, and a list of medication.  After a miserable weekend, I can finally say that I am feeling better.  I can use my voice and sound like a woman.  I have been sounding like a man.  

Well, readers, hopefully this blog does not find you sick.  I am on the up and up, I can feel myself getting well!

Paula Deen.... Are you really from the South?!

So yesterday I was forced to watch Paula Deen. She gets on my nerves sometimes with her accent. I think its phony! I have been debating on this for quite sometime, but I must admit she proved me right yesterday.

Here's what happened... Paula had some lady on with her making cinnamon rolls. They were having a grand old time making them when they decided to add a particular nut to the mix. This nut has been the center of a huge debate in our society. That debate is how do you pronouce the word pecan.

Now I have even researched this online. The online dictionary pronounced it the way I say it...(the right way!) (puh-con) NOT, I stress NOT Pee-can. That doesn't even roll off the tongue the way it should.

All I have to say is Paula Deen, you had better hope I don't contact the folks at Smithsville. They will tear your contract up in a heartbeat because of the false advertisement that you are this true Southern Belle! Heck no! Scarlett was a better Southerner than you!

Sorry to all the Deen fans out there that I may have upset. But you can only imagine how upset I was when I heard that curse word come out of her mouth pretending that was the "Southern" way to say it!

Blank Canvas

A blank canvas, thats what I walked into whenever I first saw my classroom. It was a bit intimidating knowing that in two short months it would be filled with color, imagination, and love. Then again, what on earth was I going to put on these walls?

So...again, now what? I know in all my classes the creativity part never seemed very hard, but now it seemed a huge daunting task that I wasn't sure I wanted to take on. However, it was too late for that. What was I going to do, let my kids stare at four blank walls!? I knew that wasn't an option. I turned to the internet. I found this awesome website heyteach.biz. I was amazed at how cheap their prices were, shipping wasn't that bad either. I think I spent maybe fifty bucks, and I got everything I wanted. I am a sucker for Dr. Seuss, and they have a ton of his stuff!

The next day, I went back up to my school with questions in mind, "Can I paint," "Does it matter what color I paint it?" I was thrilled to learn that I could. I even picked out a beautiful scene to go on the wall. (I blogged about this earlier)

Now I did not go up there every day this summer, and I am not completely finished with my classroom. However, I am proud of what I have done so far... Enjoy the pictures below. (Ignore the old computers, they are being removed. They just haven't been removed yet.)

Lost Life?!

I have recently learned that my autobiography was MIA! I wrote it, I remember writing it! So who knows where it went to. So I re-wrote my autobiography. This time I tried to be more colorful. I wanted my personality to shine. I typed it first. Then I shortened it for the actual hand written copy. I liked it. Happy reading! I didn't give it a title, but if I did I think it would be something fabulous like "My Journey to the Yellow Brick Road."

I am sitting here waiting thinking, “How did I get here? Is this finally happening?” I couldn’t believe that I was finally graduating with honors feeling prepared to teach. The road to this point was definitely not paved with those glittery yellow bricks that others have gotten the privilege to walk on during their lifetime. However, I am thankful I’ve gotten to see others walk on that yellow brick road. It makes me more excited about the goals I have achieved during my lifetime.

We are shuttled into room after room, hallway after hallway. Each one seems longer than the last, and we become more congested the closer we get to the stage. This is it! I am surprisingly nervous. I keep telling myself you’ve done this before. However, I don’t think I am very convincing. My mind is wandering everywhere. I should be paying attention to what this lady in front of me is saying. I think she is explaining what we should be doing. Daydreams are powerful distractions, and memories are even stronger. I allow myself to drift off. The memories come back flooding my mind with mixed emotions. I’ve walked across a stage similar to this one before. But the certainty I have this time wasn’t there a few years ago.

It was a beautiful day in Columbus, MS, I was preparing for graduation from Mississippi University for Women with a Bachelor of Arts in English. I had worked hard throughout my years. But my time was rapidly coming to an end. The only thing running through my mind that day was, “Now what am I going to do?”

I knew what my dream was. I had made my mind at an early age that I would be a teacher. While others were playing with dolls or playing house, I was playing teacher. I had my classroom full of the best teaching supplies. I was given my own reading group in the second grade. My teacher would tell me what to do, and she would busy herself with the other reading groups. See, this was the time before assistants.

On that day of my MUW graduation, my inner child was very saddened that the goal I had set for myself was not achieved. I had completed all courses in preparation to teach; however, I was informed my scores for the Praxis PLT 7-12 were not up to the State’s standard. Therefore, student teaching at MUW was no longer an option. That would keep me from graduating on time. I changed my major to English from Secondary Education English, and I applied for graduation. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel so-to-speak.

I continued to study. I took the time as a break from full-time studies. I knew this break wouldn’t be forever, but I knew I needed a break from school. I took classes to certify me to teach English as a Second Language. I threw myself into working retail where I realized I have a knack for convincing people to buy things. I am a sales person, naturally, but it’s not my passion. I busied my free time with tutoring my friends’ children. I helped them with whatever classes they were struggling. I was even offered a job teaching home-schooled students.

Towards the end of 2006, I realized I had waited long enough. Watch out MSU-Meridian, here I come! I enjoyed being back in the college setting. I believe I needed that time to grow and mature. Since, I had managed a few retail stores during my time away, I was forced to gain more responsibility. I know it was exactly what I needed.

“Layla....." the announcer boomed.

Every memory has vanished for this moment. There are just a few things that now occupy my thoughts. The first, walk slowly and don’t fall. The second, keep smiling and shake everyone’s hand. The third, I did get my yellow brick road. I just had to lay the bricks out myself before I could walk on it!

Life Changing Decision Made

Lately, I have been forced to make some pretty life altering decisions.  For example, graduate school- when should I start? Should I just go ahead and get a loan, etc?

However, a commercial just made me realize that these decisions are nothing compared to whether or not I take a daily birth control.  Now, if i was on a daily birth control I would only have two swimsuits to choose from.  They are both one pieces, and I have a choice of white or yellow.  There is nothing fancy about these swimsuits. OH! I almost forgot I also have to choose which day of the week will be plastered all over my swimsuit. AND I would have to swim with a swimmer's cap on my head! YuCk!

Now if I switch to NuvaRing then a whole new closet of swimsuits will open up to for me.  I will have bikini's, sexier one pieces, and any color I choose to have!  Oh and no days of the week printed all over my swimsuit.  AND- no swimmer's cap! I mean just look at the possibilities. I can now swim in whatever I want.  And suddenly when I switch from the pill to NuvaRing, I have fabulous hair! What more could a girl want!?

I think there will be a mad rush to every local gyno office for ladies begging for this new product.  I mean look at the great advertising they are using to endorse this product.  Me, however, I will wait for some no-name celebreality star to come out and say I use NuvaRing! I mean if someone like Jillian Barbarie tells me she uses it, well it may make me re-think my decision... Simply because she's had a baby. Was she using the NuvaRing whenever she got preggers???

Hmmm, seems like this decision like graduate school requires some more thinking.  Good thing I am not all about partying it up, and I know how to say no.  Now with graduate school, I have decided to start taking donations.  I will be standing on the side of the road with a sign that say "Will work for education!"

Oh where oh where has my little bed gone...

AHH! I hate bed shopping.. I swear a man in behind all these stupid mattresses! Reason being, well, there are too many.  I don't understand all the terms, so I just lay on them to discover which one I like.  However, once you understand the terms at one store and go to another... Oh wait, they are not the same! ARGH!

So I went bed shopping this week.  And holy terror, its a difficult decision.  And the prices lately! Oh my terror! Its so frustrating.  However, I have picked out a bed, I have put in together (with only one disaster), and I slept in it last night.  So it withstood a night's sleep.  (Once I find that stupid dust ruffle, that I have managed to lose, I will post pics)

Happy 4th of July! :)

Kids today

I've been reading online about these Massachusetts's teens.  They made a pregnancy pact.  They said they wanted to have someone to love them always. Now I can see how this conversation goes.  There is one or two girls who actually need love and affection.  Maybe not in this particular form, but they need attention because they are not getting any at home.  So because of the few who need some sort of attention, seventeen young girls are now pregnant.

None of them are over the age of 16.  And a few of them admit to having slept with some homeless guy in his mid twenties.  What are the parents going to do, what every parent would do? Press charges, of course! I am not one for abortion, but I have no idea what to do in this situation. In Massachusetts, the young girls are not considered adults until they are 17.  Therefore the parents have the right to press charges against these men. I wonder how guilty they are, these girls had a preconceived agenda! I feel they are the ones who should be punished!

I don't know, maybe its just me.. Here is a link to a Time's article... Since the original story was released some have said the pact wasn't created until after the first two or three were pregnant. But being under 16 and being sad that your pregnancy test was negative is sad! 

Take me to the Court

The noble English Court that is. I just finished watching "The Other Boleyn Girl."  I must say that I did enjoy it, but then again movies made about that time period always interest me.  There were a few rough parts.  Mainly after Henry broke off ties with Rome and the Catholic Church.

But back to me, I think I would have thrived during that time period. Now I am not thinking about all the technologies I would be without, I am just thinking of the lavish dressings, jewelry, and chance of catching the King's eye.  I think I could play that game. Ann didn't even have to bed the King to get him to divorce his wife. She didn't wink either. Just think if she would have, I would have! lol

Now I realize with the life expectancy I would probably be dead by the age I am now; however, with the way my life has been in the past, I think its amazing I am alive now present day! My brother made certain to have me hospitalized every chance he got.  Whether he truly meant to or not is beside the point, he did!

Of course, let us not forget that even though Ann put the country of England through much turmoil, Elizabeth, her daughter, lead England through her Golden Ages. She ruled for what forty-something years! So Ann apparently took after her mother, she was smart. Think about it, there were NO divorces, annulments, etc back then.  Well, there were annulments, but they only happened if the marriage wasn't consummated.  I think it was a no-brainer since Queen Catherine had bore only one girl who survived infancy out of four other girls and one boy, sadly, who died two or three months after birth.  The clincher was the Catherine was related to the Pope.  This is one reason she knew he wouldn't grant the annulment.  However, Ann bewitching Henry didn't stop that, he broke off ties with the Catholic Church. Anyway, I am rambling, Ann was smart. Her mistake came in committing treason, well even though she actually didn't the thought of committing treason was enough back then. 

Elizabeth learned from her mother's mistakes.  Men, complicate things.  She ruled England without one, and England prospered greatly.

Syl, this ones for you!

According to some people, I should update this daily. I will today, but I will spare the other readers of the bore of me updating daily. Something struck me today and therefore I decided to blog.

So as I was stalking someone on myspace, (I love doing that!) anyway, I began to take note at the number of people pregnant or recently given birth. I am also amazed at the number of people getting married recently. Does this happen every year? Have a just ignored it until now? Or is it just now that it is happening to my friends, I am noticing.

I have never been someone who wanted to rush into getting married, but I will admit here lately I have felt like Charlotte on "Sex and the City."  Carrie once described Charlotte and marriage as a sorority she desperately wanted to join.  Now I wouldn't call myself desperate, but I have been hearing the faint little ringing of an alarm on that damn clock that women always complain about!

I am sure this is something that I will forget about with some time passing, but right now it seems to be thrown in my face! I am currently working as much as I can to keep my head from just thinking about this all the time. It's frustrating, but I am sure I will survive!

Summer Update..

So I am preparing to teach 3rd grade. I am very excited about teaching. Teaching is something that is in my family. It's  hereditary, my mother, aunts, uncles, sister, etc all teachers. I feel that this is something I have been groomed to do.  I remember being about 8 or 9 and having my own peer tutoring group in reading.  I was responsible for covering a certain amount of material per day just like a teacher would be. Later on, when my friends and I were getting together for play dates, we would play school.  We had all sorts of supplies, stickers, and plenty of chalk!

Well, now that I have reached the important milestone in my life of becoming a teacher, I am completely nervous about taking the next step.  I am going to be responsible for their education.  It is nerve-wracking, but I will accept this challenge along with the other challenges I have presented myself with along the way.

With this new classroom comes decorating, this is a very important part of preparing for my students.  So I have picked out a beautiful sky blue color to paint one wall.  That wall will have a mural on it.  I have picked one out from a picture from one of my favorite Dr. Seuss books, "The Lorax."

Enjoy the picture, this is what I am painting in my classroom.

Valentine's Day

So, I work in retail.  And boy around all these holidays I get so tired of working in retail.  But for some reason, I am still working in retail.  Yeah I complain about it quite a bit, but I haven't left there yet. Anyway, we sold some various objects for your lover on Valentine's Day. One of which puzzled me very much.  It was a cute little fabric bag. It was sort of sheer red fabric.  That wasn't the perplexing part.  The odd thing was the objects inside the bag.  There were some clear stones that were heart-shaped.  They did not smell.  There were not soap or anything like that.  Just stones in a bag.  Nothing spectacular about them at all!  So what was their point? It took me forever to realize it, but I am proud of myself for doing so. I have decided its for the ghetto cupid.  Ghetto Cupid is too cool to use a bow and arrows.  Besides, who has the money to pay to get archery lessons.  So what do we have to use, stones.. Ghetto cupid throws his heart rock at you and hits you in the head.  You are knocked unconscious, and the first person you see when you awaken is who you will fall in love with.  So yeah, same idea as the regular cupid, but just with a twist.

My word of advice, be careful this Valentine's and future ones.  You never know when ghetto cupid will strike!

Newbie...

Well I have decided to give this a whirl. This was a very tough decision and after long thought and consideration and have decided to create a blog. Now I have blogged before, I would hate to mislead someone.. But I have blogged on myspace. Now blogging there seems to be different. Most of the time I am ranting about something that made me mad. I would like to think there is some good reading material in there from time to time. Believe it or not, I actually have people who subscribe to my blog to make sure they read it. I believe these people really do not have a life, but I am checking into it to make sure. To further prove how nerdy I am, I used to have a live journal. Technically, I think I still do. Maybe this won't end up like the live journal. By the way, an FYI to anyway who stumbles upon this to read, I am sarcastic, very sarcastic. If sarcasm bothers you, well I will probably bother you. If sarcasm is your friend, then hey, you will love me!

This is me, love me, hate me, befriend me... just take me as I am..