Lost Life?!

I have recently learned that my autobiography was MIA! I wrote it, I remember writing it! So who knows where it went to. So I re-wrote my autobiography. This time I tried to be more colorful. I wanted my personality to shine. I typed it first. Then I shortened it for the actual hand written copy. I liked it. Happy reading! I didn't give it a title, but if I did I think it would be something fabulous like "My Journey to the Yellow Brick Road."

I am sitting here waiting thinking, “How did I get here? Is this finally happening?” I couldn’t believe that I was finally graduating with honors feeling prepared to teach. The road to this point was definitely not paved with those glittery yellow bricks that others have gotten the privilege to walk on during their lifetime. However, I am thankful I’ve gotten to see others walk on that yellow brick road. It makes me more excited about the goals I have achieved during my lifetime.

We are shuttled into room after room, hallway after hallway. Each one seems longer than the last, and we become more congested the closer we get to the stage. This is it! I am surprisingly nervous. I keep telling myself you’ve done this before. However, I don’t think I am very convincing. My mind is wandering everywhere. I should be paying attention to what this lady in front of me is saying. I think she is explaining what we should be doing. Daydreams are powerful distractions, and memories are even stronger. I allow myself to drift off. The memories come back flooding my mind with mixed emotions. I’ve walked across a stage similar to this one before. But the certainty I have this time wasn’t there a few years ago.

It was a beautiful day in Columbus, MS, I was preparing for graduation from Mississippi University for Women with a Bachelor of Arts in English. I had worked hard throughout my years. But my time was rapidly coming to an end. The only thing running through my mind that day was, “Now what am I going to do?”

I knew what my dream was. I had made my mind at an early age that I would be a teacher. While others were playing with dolls or playing house, I was playing teacher. I had my classroom full of the best teaching supplies. I was given my own reading group in the second grade. My teacher would tell me what to do, and she would busy herself with the other reading groups. See, this was the time before assistants.

On that day of my MUW graduation, my inner child was very saddened that the goal I had set for myself was not achieved. I had completed all courses in preparation to teach; however, I was informed my scores for the Praxis PLT 7-12 were not up to the State’s standard. Therefore, student teaching at MUW was no longer an option. That would keep me from graduating on time. I changed my major to English from Secondary Education English, and I applied for graduation. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel so-to-speak.

I continued to study. I took the time as a break from full-time studies. I knew this break wouldn’t be forever, but I knew I needed a break from school. I took classes to certify me to teach English as a Second Language. I threw myself into working retail where I realized I have a knack for convincing people to buy things. I am a sales person, naturally, but it’s not my passion. I busied my free time with tutoring my friends’ children. I helped them with whatever classes they were struggling. I was even offered a job teaching home-schooled students.

Towards the end of 2006, I realized I had waited long enough. Watch out MSU-Meridian, here I come! I enjoyed being back in the college setting. I believe I needed that time to grow and mature. Since, I had managed a few retail stores during my time away, I was forced to gain more responsibility. I know it was exactly what I needed.

“Layla....." the announcer boomed.

Every memory has vanished for this moment. There are just a few things that now occupy my thoughts. The first, walk slowly and don’t fall. The second, keep smiling and shake everyone’s hand. The third, I did get my yellow brick road. I just had to lay the bricks out myself before I could walk on it!